


Remedy

by SecretMaker



Series: Two Birds, One Stone [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi the Garbage Man, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Familiar Kuroo, M/M, Mage Kenma, Multi, Shapeshifter Kageyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 05:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16235018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: Kenma is a mage with one really big problem: his familiar, Kuroo, got himself turned into wood, and he can't use his magic because of this. So he's on a quest to find the witch who cast the curse and get them to turn him back. Along the way he meets Kageyama, a shapeshifting emmisary of the royal court, and Akaashi, a mysterious garbage man who may or may not be the prince of the realm. Together, they must face the odds and save themselves - and each other - from more dangers than they could ever imagine.





	Remedy

**Author's Note:**

> For [Faer](http://cosmicyachi.tumblr.com), the winner of my 1001 follower giveaway! I hope you enjoy it!

“One of these days, Kuro, I’m going to turn you into firewood,” Kenma threatened as he trudged his way through the woods. The wooden cat that was perched on his shoulder merely purred in his ear, completely unrepentant. Kenma rolled his eyes and shoved a branch out of his way. He hated this forest. He hated the trees and the mud and the underbrush and all the little bugs and birds and every other creature that lurked in the shadows under the canopy. And of all the creatures beneath the canopy that he hated, he hated Kuroo the most. “Why’d you have to steal that witch’s hat?” he asked, for probably the ten thousandth time.

 

“Because it looked better on me,” Kuroo said. The answer changed every time the question was asked. This answer was no better than any of the others. Kenma rolled his eyes again. “If you keep doing that, they’re going to pop out,” Kuroo warned him.

 

“Definitely firewood,” Kenma said. Kuroo licked the shell of his ear, making him shudder at the roughness. “You’d better not give me splinters. Again.”

 

“I do not have splinters,” Kuroo sniffed. Kenma opened his mouth to tell Kuroo in no uncertain terms that he most definitely did have splinters, but stopped in his tracks at the sound of voices up ahead. He curled the shadows of the trees around himself to disguise his presence and crept forward.

 

There were two people standing in a glade. Both were tall with dark hair and pale skin, one regally dressed and the other looking like he had gotten his clothes from the rubbish pile outside a local tavern. The one in the nice clothes was gesticulating at the other, shouting something. Kenma crept a little closer to hear better.

 

“I am an emissary of the royal court here on a very important mission!” the man shouted.

 

“All the more reason to not let you through,” said the other, calmly. He leaned against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. There was something familiar about him, but Kenma couldn’t bring himself to care. Kenma was about to disappear back into the forest and pretend he’d never seen either of them when a weight disappeared from his shoulder. He watched with detached horror as Kuroo sauntered into the clearing.

 

“Gentlemen,” said Kuroo genially. The shouting man jumped back, sprouting feathers and squawking. The other man simply blinked at him. “Have either of you seen a witch around here?” Kuroo asked.

 

“No,” said the garbage man. “Just a shapeshifter.” He narrowed his eyes at the shouting man. Kenma bared his teeth at Kuroo’s back and stepped into the clearing. Leave it to him to get tangled up with a shapeshifter from the royal court.

 

“Kuro,” he said. “We’re not here to make friends.”

 

“Oh, but I so wanted to,” Kuroo purred, flicking his tail in the direction of the feathered man. Kenma huffed.

 

“I wanted to, too,” said the garbage man. “I always like to make friends with the people who pass through my forest.” There was something about the way he said ‘friends’ that made Kenma shiver, some hidden venom that dripped from his lips and pooled on the forest floor near their feet.

 

“Didn’t know this forest was yours,” Kuroo said as he twisted around in figure-eights around the feathered man’s feet.

 

“This whole kingdom is mine,” said the garbage man. “I’m Akaashi Keiji.”

 

“Sure you are,” Kuroo snorted.

 

“No one ever believes me,” mourned the false Akaashi.

 

“That is not funny,” said the feathered man. “Prince Keiji has been missing for years. It is my duty to seek him out and restore him to his throne before his evil sister takes over the kingdom and dooms us all.”

 

“Well, your search has come to an end!” said Akaashi grandly. The feathered man glared at him. Akaashi cocked his head, something wicked gleaming in his eye. “Tell me, what’s your name, O shapeshifter of little control?”

 

“I’m Kageyama Tobio, emissary of the royal court,” replied the feathered man, his feathers ruffling proudly.

 

“If the royal court is backing the evil princess, why would they send you out to find the real Prince Keiji?” asked Kenma, narrowing his eyes. Kageyama sputtered.

 

“Good question,” said Akaashi. “And who are you, little witch?” Kenma blinked at him and he smiled. “Who is he, cat?”

 

“Kozume Kenma, specializing in light and shadow magic,” replied Kuroo without looking away from the butterfly he was staring at. “I’m his familiar, Kuroo Tetsurou. We’re on a quest to find the witch that turned me to wood so this one doesn’t have to listen to me complain anymore.”

 

“Kuro, you ass,” muttered Kenma.

 

“You mean, you weren’t always wood?” asked Kageyama, his head cocking to one side.

 

“How many wooden cats have you come across in your travels?” Kuroo asked him, looking away from the butterfly at last.

 

“Not many.” Kageyama looked at him like he was still waiting for the answer to his question. Kuroo grinned a catty little grin and wandered back over to Kenma’s feet.

 

“If you’ll excuse us,” Kuroo said, and hopped back up on Kenma’s shoulder. Kenma turned to go.

 

“I wouldn’t go that way,” Akaashi warned, but Kenma ignored him, stepping back into the shadows and disappearing among them.

 

“Next time you want to make friends,” he muttered, “leave me out of it.”

 

“Aw, but you’re so good at it,” Kuroo whined. Kenma flicked him on the nose. He walked on through the forest.

 

Kenma wasn’t sure how long he had been walking. The sun was somewhere overhead still, so it could only have been a few hours since he first entered the trees, but it was hard to tell time in the forest. The sounds of chattering birds and Kuroo chattering back at them were his only companions as he walked.

 

He was so busy not paying attention to anything around him that it was almost inevitable. A snap of a twig was his only warning before he and Kuroo were ten feet up in the air, caught in a net woven as much with magic as it was with rope. A Trapper’s net.

 

“Kuro, get yourself free,” Kenma ordered, shoving the wooden cat toward a hole in the net large enough for him to slip through.

 

“I’m not leaving you, Kenma,” Kuroo said, clawing at his arm to get him to stop. Kenma only shoved harder.

 

“This is a Trapper’s net,” Kenma said. “If they catch us, they’ll sell us into slavery. If they don’t just eat us for our power.”

 

“I’d like to see them try eating me. Now, stop that, before I bite your-” Kuroo and Kenma both fell silent and still at the sound of a rustling in the trees. It was large, some sort of animal that had come at the sound of their struggling, come to eat them alive. Through the trees, Kenma could just make out fur and glinting teeth before the shape disappeared behind the underbrush. He closed his eyes just as it stepped into the clearing.

 

“I told you not to go this way.” Kenma opened his eyes again to find Akaashi the Garbage Man standing with his hands on his hips. He shook his head and walked forward, drawing a glinting knife out of the sheath at his hip. Kenma heard the sound of metal sawing through rope and felt the magical weaving coming undone. He craned around to see Akaashi.

 

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

 

“Setting you free,” Akaashi said simply. “Unless you’d rather I leave you to the Trappers.”

 

“No, free is good,” Kuroo said, clambering over Kenma to get a better view.

 

“Hang on to your asses, then,” Akaashi said, and the rope broke free. Kenma and Kuroo and the net all careened to the ground in one big pile, landing on a bed of pine needles that did little to soften the blow. As Kenma was picking himself up off the forest floor, there came a flutter from above as a massive crow landed on the branch Kenma had been hanging from. There was a small popping noise and then the crow was Kageyama.

 

“I’m not done with you,” he said.

 

“Too bad, because I was done with you,” Akaashi replied. Turning to Kenma and Kuroo, he said, “This part of the woods is dangerous. It’s best not to go through it alone if you don’t know your way around. I’ll escort you through.”

 

“Why?” Kenma snapped. “We don’t need your help.”

 

“Kenma, I love you, but shut up,” Kuroo said, flicking his tail in Kenma’s direction. “We would love your help. Please guide us through the forest, O masterful one.”

 

“You’re gonna be a pain in my ass, I can tell,” Akaashi sighed. “All right. First rule of the forest. Listen to every word I say, without question. Do this and you might survive your journey.”

 

“And what makes you the definitive ruler of these woods?” Kenma snapped.

 

“I told you,” Akaashi said. “I’m Akaashi Keiji, rightful ruler of all this kingdom. And even if you didn’t believe me on that front, how many other people do you know who can break a Trapper’s rope?”

 

“He has a point,” Kuroo said.

 

“Shut it,” Kenma muttered.

 

“I _do_ have a point,” Akaashi said grandly. “You should listen to the pain-in-the-ass cat.”

 

“I have never in my life listened to the pain-in-the-ass cat, and I’m not about to start now,” Kenma said. Akaashi shrugged at him and started walking. Kenma and Kageyama glanced at each other and followed, Kageyama hurrying and Kenma taking his sweet ass time.

 

Akaashi led them through the forest at a fast clip, barely pausing as he picked his way through the underbrush and around the trees. He talked as he went, babbling on and on about different trees and the calls of the birds they could hear. Kenma tried to tune him out, but he found himself lost in Akaashi’s words. He tried to pay attention to where they were going, sure that something was happening that was worth Kenma’s notice, but again, he could concentrate on nothing but Akaashi. Kenma frowned. There was something familiar about the feeling, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Then it hit him. He stopped listening to Akaashi the same way he would stop listening to Kuroo and all at once he realized where they were going and what was happening. He stopped walking.

 

“I thought you were taking us to see the witch,” he said. “Not leading us out of the forest.”

 

“I said no such thing,” Akaashi said, stopping and turning around. He considered Kenma with a new light in his eyes. “How did you do that?” he asked. “You shouldn’t have realized where we were going until I stopped talking.”

 

“I have a strong immunity to bullshit,” Kenma droned. “I’ve been dealing with Kuro long enough for that.”

 

“I knew you would be a pain in my ass,” Akaashi said.

 

“Glad to be of service,” Kenma replied. “Now, take us to the witch.”

 

“How do you know I even know where they are?” Akaashi asked. “It’s a big world and there are a lot of witches in it.”

 

“You make a point of knowing everyone who passes through your forest,” Kenma said. “We saw them retreat into these woods. We know they live here because they knew their way around,” Kenma said.

 

“You know these woods better than anyone,” Kuroo added, his whiskers twitching. “If anyone knows where they live, it’s you, right? Or are you not as all-knowing as you believe you are?”

 

Akaashi glared at Kuroo, a look that could melt stone. Kuroo stared right back. “Look,” Kenma said, stepping between them. “He’s not going to stop bugging you until you give him what he wants. Trust me on this one, it’ll be much easier on you if you just take us to the witch.”

 

Akaashi glared stubbornly for a moment so long it made Kageyama shift uncomfortably. Kenma stood his ground. “Fine!” Akaashi said at last, throwing his hands up in the air. “But you’d better be able to keep up.”

 

“Kuro,” said Kenma, turning around. Kuroo jumped up on Kenma’s shoulder, wrapping his tail around Kenma’s neck with a purr. When Kenma turned around, Akaashi was gone.

 

“He went that way,” Kageyama said, pointing. Kenma rolled his eyes and started trudging off through the woods. Kageyama turned into a bird with a little pop and flew off after him.

 

They caught up to Akaashi as he climbed over a tumbledown wall running through the forest. Kenma picked his way across the collapsed rocks and looked around.

 

“What’s something man-made like this doing in the middle of the forest?” Kuroo asked.

 

“This was once a human settlement,” Akaashi answered. “The forest expands and contracts as it sees fit, and one day a few hundred years ago it decided to expand to cover this village. The people here stood no chance.” He turned to look at Kenma and Kuroo, and at Kageyama perched on the branch above their heads. “This is no safe place,” he said. “Now more than ever it’s vital that you do as I say and only as I say. The forest will not forgive any missteps.”

 

“Got it,” Kuroo said, hopping off of Kenma and sauntering over to Akaashi. He climbed onto Akaashi’s shoulder, ignoring Akaashi’s glare. “Onward,” he said, smacking Akaashi on the back of the head with his tail.

 

“Get off of me, cat,” Akaashi growled. Kuroo simply blinked at him.

 

“Kuro, do as he says,” Kenma said. Kuroo twisted around to look at Kenma, a despairing expression on his little wooden face. Kenma glared at him until he did as he was told. Akaashi looked at him with something like an impressed expression. Kenma blinked at him.

 

“Now, then,” Akaashi said, dusting off his shoulder. “The witch’s tower isn’t far from here. Please try to stay out of trouble until we get there. Or don’t, I don’t really care.” With that, he set off again, weaving through the ghosts of buildings and an overgrown village square. Kenma found himself shivering as he walked through the houses, sure there were eyes on him, eyes belonging to beings who did not want him to pass through safely. He walked a little closer to Akaashi, who glanced at him with something not unkind in his eyes.

 

They came upon the tower suddenly. It rose out of the ground like a hand thrusting toward the sky in agony or terror. There was nothing around it, no living thing besides the sparse grass that grew around its base. The very trees seemed to lean away from it. There was no sound from birds or creatures other than the four of them stepping into the clearing. A shiver went up Kenma’s spine and he shook his head.

 

“See what you’ve gotten us into?” he whispered to Kuroo, who carefully avoided his eyes.

 

“This isn’t right,” Akaashi said. There was a popping noise and Kageyama stepped up next to Akaashi.

 

“It looks deserted,” he said.

 

“That’s because it is,” Akaashi replied. “It shouldn’t be. We should have run into the witch’s little guards by now, if not the witch themself.”

 

“So, what now?” Kageyama asked, turning to look at Kenma and Kuroo. “Where will you go?”

 

“We can’t _go_ anywhere,” Kenma said. “We need that with to turn Kuro back into a cat. I can’t use my-” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “There has to be some sign of where they went,” he said.

 

“We can search the tower,” Akaashi said slowly.

 

“You sound like you don’t want to do that,” Kenma said.

 

“That’s because I don’t,” Akaashi replied. “So, then. This is where I leave you. Good luck getting out alive.”

 

“Hey, wait a minute,” Kageyama said. “That’s dishonorable. If you really were Prince Keiji, you would know better than to try and run off when people need your help.”

 

“You don’t know anything about me,” Akaashi said. “You have no idea what I- _everybody hide._ ” His eyes went wide and he ducked behind a wall, crouching down as far as he could. Kageyama turned into a crow once more and flittered to the top of a tree. It took Kenma a moment to realize what was happening, and in that moment he doomed them all. A dozen men in the armor of the royal court’s guards burst into the clearing from all sides, grabbing Kenma and Kuroo. Kageyama cawed mournfully, but that drew attention to him and one of the guards threw a net. It must have been magic, because Kenma saw it fly higher than it should have been able to and wrap itself around Kageyama’s body. He careened to the ground, shifting in mid air until he hit the ground a human.

 

Akaashi nearly got away. Kenma prayed he would, though he wondered why he should care. But then Akaashi craned his neck to see the damage done to the other three and that movement drew the eye of another guard.

 

“Well well well,” he laughed, throwing another net. “Look what the bear dragged in. Two traitor shifters in one day. The princess will be most pleased.”

 

Akaashi was silent, but Kenma could feel the fear radiating off of him. He looked around, desperate for a way to escape and bring his companions with him. But then one of the guards did something to Kageyama to make him squeal in pain and Kenma stopped struggling. Distantly he noticed he was trembling, and that his heart was racing and his hands sweating, but inside his mind everything was white noise. He kept his eyes on Akaashi as they bound his wrists behind his back and made him walk with the others back through the forest.

 

Then Kuroo began to talk. It was a special magic, one that Kenma had never seen in another person until Akaashi had tried it on him earlier that day. It was a quiet magic, the kind that you didn’t realize was working on you until it was too late. It was a powerful magic, one that had taken Kenma years to figure out how to overcome. It should have put all the guards - and Kageyama and probably Akaashi - under Kuroo’s thrall, had them eating out of the palm of his hand and doing whatever he wanted from them.

 

But then one of the guards laughed. “Nice try, little cat,” he said. “This one must be another shapeshifter,” he called to one of his companions. “A minor noble or something we don’t know about. He’s trying to use the Royal Gift on us.”

 

“Royal Gift?” Kuroo asked. “There’s nothing royal about me. I’m just a humble cat.”

 

“And I’m just a humble platypus,” the guard answered. “Doesn’t mean a damn thing out here. We’ve caught you in the company of Prince Keiji, and that means treason.”

 

“You mean, he really _is_ Prince Keiji?” Kuroo tried again. “How fascinating. I bet he could tell us a story or two about you all. In fact, I remember this one time, when-” Kuroo cut off when a guard gripped him about the neck and shook him violently. Kenma cried out in protest, but he was silenced by a blow to the head that sent him careening to the forest floor. The world went dark and he knew no more.

 

-

 

When Kenma came to, his head was in Kageyama’s lap and strong fingers were stroking gently through his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed it was a dream. But the dripping sound in the corner, the cool, musty dank of the cell, and the darkness of the world around him was too real to be a dream. They were in a dungeon of some sort. He pushed himself into a seated position, ignoring the aching in his head, and looked around.

 

Akaashi and Kuroo were both in the cell with them, along with a person Kenma didn’t recognize. It was hard to make out features in the dark, but the person had sallow skin and bright eyes that pierced through the gloom to land directly on Kenma.

 

“You’re awake,” they said. “Unfortunate.”

 

“Unfortunate, how?” Kageyama asked, his head tilting to one side. “He’s not dead. I thought that was a good thing.”

 

“Unfortunate for him, that he can’t escape this place a little longer,” the person said. “Welcome, little witch, to the royal castle.”

 

Kenma narrowed his eyes. “You’re the witch that turned Kuro to wood,” he said. The person inclined their head. Kuroo sat up from where he was curled in Akaashi’s lap and stared at the witch. “Can you turn him back?” he asked.

 

“Why should I?” the witch asked. “As I recall he wasn’t doing me any favors before I enchanted him.”

 

“Because if you do, I can get us out of here,” Kenma promised. The witch considered him for a moment. Then they smiled, a crooked, broken thing that sent shivers up Kenma’s spine.

 

“Very well,” they said. “I will return him to his true form. But only if you agree to take me with you when you go.”

 

“Agreed,” Kenma said.

 

“Stand back then, your highness,” said the witch to Akaashi. Akaashi dumped Kuroo out of his lap and came to stand across the cell, next to Kenma and Kageyama. The witch held out their hands, which began to glow blueish-purple, a glow that spread to Kuroo. Slowly, Kuroo’s shape began to change, and to grow.

 

“What are you doing?” Kenma demanded, watching as Kuroo grew and grew until he was the size and shape of a man. A man with messy black hair where there once had been shaggy black fur, a man who looked strangely familiar. The witch gasped. They staggered back against the wall and the glow faded from their hands and from Kuroo. They chuckled.

 

“Well, well, well,” they said, picking themself up and dusting themself off. “Secrets abound indeed, little one. Did you know just who was masquerading as your little kitten?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Kenma snapped. “Change him back.”

 

“I can’t,” the witch said. “I changed him into his true form. Only he can make the choice to go back. Isn’t that right, your majesty?”

 

“Your who now?” asked Kuroo, standing up uncertainly on two legs. Kenma walked over to give him a stabilizing hand, which he took gratefully.

 

“Unless these old eyes have lost all their sight, you young man are the exact image of the late king. Meaning you, you of all people, the bastard cat who stole my hat, are the rightful heir to the throne, the long lost crown prince.” They bowed mockingly. “Will wonders never cease?”

 

“Kuro’s not a prince, he’s a-”

 

“My god,” said a new voice. Kenma turned to see a pair of guards standing outside the door to their cell. “They’re right. He’s the crown prince. Your majesty.” One of the guards bowed to Kuroo, the other quickly following. Kuroo glanced at Kenma, that light in his eyes that promised mischief and adventure, then quickly straightened to his full height.

 

“Unlock this door,” he ordered. “Set us free.”

 

“Of course, Majesty,” said one of the guards, reaching for his belt. He unlocked the door and Kuroo stepped out, a little unsteady, but sure of himself nonetheless. He took one look at Kenma and mouthed _run_ at him, before walking slowly toward the door. Kenma and the others followed, slow and uncertain through the winding dungeon corridors. Then Kenma caught sight of a light ahead, just at the same time that Akaashi started running and Kageyama shifted into a crow. Kenma took off toward the door, a shaggy black cat hot on his heels. They were out before the guards could do much more than shout in alarm.

 

“This way,” Kenma panted, darting behind a clump of trees. “Into the branches,” he ordered, and started climbing, Akaashi right behind him. Once they were all in the tree, he drew the shadows of the leaves around them, dappling their skin carefully to hide their presence. The guards ran right past the base of their tree without so much as a pause. Kenma waited until they had been out of sight for several heartbeats before climbing down.

 

“Into the city,” Akaashi whispered.

 

“Where’s the witch?” Kageyama asked, landing on Kenma’s shoulder.

 

“Not important,” Akaashi said. “What matters now is that we escape and live another day.

 

Kenma found he rather agreed with Akaashi’s philosophy and set out for the outer wall as fast as his legs would carry him. They made it through the gate just as the alarm blared out and the guards began flooding the courtyards.

 

“Where now?” Kageyama asked.

 

“I know a place,” Kenma said, taking the lead and darting into an alleyway. “A safehouse of sorts.”

 

“We’ll follow your lead,” Akaashi said. Kenma heard the weight he was placing behind those words, understood what they meant to Akaashi. He looked back over his shoulder and nodded.

 

When they reached the healing houses of Karasuno, Kenma ignored the front door, leading them around to the back gate instead. He knocked three times, paused, then knocked again, praying Hinata was there to hear him. The gate swung open and a red-haired ball of energy knocked into him with a delighted laugh.

 

“Kenma!” Hinata shouted, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s waist.

 

“Shouyou,” Kenma said warmly. “We need a place to stay.”

 

“That commotion about you?” Hinata asked, gesturing over Kenma’s shoulder toward the castle. Kenma nodded. “Well, don’t worry. Daichi-san won’t give you up. You’re safe now.”

 

“Thank you,” Kenma said, and followed Hinata inside. The door closed behind Akaashi, and Kenma let out a long breath. They were safe, and more importantly he realized, they were together. They would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com)
> 
> Consider this a part one. There will be more to come, but it may be a while, since it's almost NaNo. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
